There's a huge question mark punctuating the future of marriage in America. Depending upon the outcome of the battles now taking place in Massachusetts, Oregon, San Francisco and so many other places, we can expect one of two very different societies: one with marriage and one virtually without it. Defenders of traditional marriage are often asked, "What will gay marriage do to your marriage." The answer is that gay marriage will do nothing to my marriage, but it will eventually marginalize the institution of marriage and destroy its positive impact on our culture.
Europe is ahead of the U.S. on the gay marriage curve. In the Netherlands and Belgium there is full, legal same sex marriage. Many other European countries and Canada have marriage lite, civil unions which confer on cohabiting couples most of the benefits of marriage. These unions are also legal for homosexuals in Vermont and California. Some people call these arrangements 'marriage without the name.’ But they are far less permanent. Couples can enter them and take advantage of the benefits...insurance coverage, hospital visitation rights, tax advantages, etc... and then leave when they want to. They don't need a divorce. To some people, this sounds convenient. But it's not so convenient...or beneficial... for children. And the cost to society is staggering.
In some parts of Europe, a generation is growing up literally without the influence of the traditional family. Alan Sears writes in his book, The Homosexual Agenda, that more than half of the children in Europe are born to unwed mothers. In countries like Norway, Sweden, Iceland, Denmark, it's been decades since the traditional family has been the norm for large percentages of children. For instance, in Sweden, 54% of children are born out of wedlock. In Norway, it's 49%. Denmark, 46%. In Iceland, the number of children born to unwed mothers is over 65%. Admittedly, the numbers are not great here in America: 27% of children are born to white single mothers; 69% to black single mothers. When governments subsidize single motherhood, marriage is discouraged. In Scandinavia mothers are simply better off financially if they do not marry The U.S. has injected some sanity into the system with welfare reform, which curtailed the financial incentives for women to have children out of wedlock. But if we allow it... the homosexual, same sex marriage juggernaut will turn the bus around and send us barreling down the road of government subsidy of all kinds of variations of families and the cheapening of marriage. Right now our laws encourage marriage because it's healthy for the society. Open all the benefits of marriage, and marriage itself, up to people simply living together with a registered partnership or a "marriage" between two homosexuals, and what do you have? Well the "conservative" argument for gay marriage says you have more stability, that marriage, gay or straight is good for America. “At least they're getting married, or making some sort of commitment.”
To show where this "conservative” argument for homosexual marriage breaks down, Anthropologist, Stanley Kurtz wrote a series of articles for the Weekly Standard. Dr. Kurtz says marriage is fast disappearing in those places that are most hospitable to homosexual marriage. He points to Nordland, a county in northern Norway, where, even in some powerful churches, there's a high degree of acceptance of gay marriage. In fact, two parishes in Nordland have voted to fly rainbow flags on their churches. The flags signify that no one in these churches, including priests, may speak or preach against homosexual behavior. This shouldn't surprise us. In countries that embrace homosexuality, all of a sudden it literally becomes a crime to speak against anything having to do with the lifestyle. (For instance, in Canada, Christians have been fined for publicly stating that homosexuality is a sin.) In these churches in Nordland, gay priests are welcome and freely live in "registered partnerships." In most of Norway the Lutheran church is an important positive influence for traditional marriage. But, in Nordland, the promotion of homosexuality has resulted in a near-purge of conservative clergy and therefore of the churches' moral disapproval of cohabitation. Sixty-seven percent of all children born in Nordland in 2002 were to unmarried mothers often in cohabiting relationships. For firstborn children, the figure is 87%. Some couples were getting married when the second baby arrived, but that's changing. Fewer and fewer Nordlanders are doing so. So the 67% figure is moving toward the 87% number. When it gets there, in that part of Norway, marriage will be effectively dead. And, since cohabiting couples in Norway are three times as likely to break up as married couples, where's the stability? There's no conservative argument for gay marriage in Nordland. Instead, gay marriage is destroying marriage. Marriage is nearly dead there. Where does that leave the children? Many of their needs must increasingly be met by government.
Another Norwegian district is Nord-Troendelag. It's like the Norwegian Massachusetts because it's highly influenced by a liberal-left leaning institution of higher learning. Nord-Troendelag is bordered by the Norwegian University of Science and Technology. Two radical, pro-gay marriage social scientists, Kari Moxnes and Kari Melby, teach at the University. Their philosophy is pervasive in Nord-Troendelag. Again, out-of-wedlock birthrates are much higher than in the country as a whole: 83% for first-time births and 67% for all children. In these districts…really the Vermont and Massachusetts of Norway…marriage has almost disappeared. But people are still having babies. The connection between marriage and parenthood is fast disappearing.
This is spreading. Stanley Kurtz writes that "Marriage in Scandinavia is in deep decline, with children shouldering the burden of family dissolution." He says the "mainspring" of this decline..."the separation between marriage and parenthood...can be linked to gay marriage." Certainly, to some degree, marriage is being separated from parenthood in the United States. Look at the divorce rate and the numbers of children being raised in single parent homes. But we have a long way to go before marriage is decoupled from parenthood to the degree it is in Nordland and Nord-Troendelag. Gay marriage unleashed across America will do it.
Homosexual activists' quest for gay marriage is about getting some kind of rights. But marriage is not about rights. It's about what's right for children, for the next generation. It's about offering our kids a stable society. Because of its intended permanence the marriage relationship between a man and a woman is the only one that has the biological potential to produce children and then provide the ideal environment for those children to grow up in. Successful societies have always understood this. That's why marriage provides a net benefit for the society. If we tamper with it, we'll find ourselves looking to government to care for the children.
This article first appeared in the May 2004 issue of the Freedom Club Report.
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